Hi everyone, I appreciate how MIA I have been lately however I have been too busy celebrating my REMISSION. Its still so surreal and I don’t even know if it has sunk in that I done it, I finished 6 months of chemotherapy and I can finally say I no longer need a cannula or have to be pumped full of toxic drugs every few weeks. Just to confirm, remission is not the all clear but its just as good for any cancer patient, it means for now I don’t have a single cancer cell in my body but I will stay in the state of remission for five years as this is the most likely time for me to have a relapse, however if I don’t I will get the all clear and that is why theres always a ? Like the title of this blog. However since the 21st of December it has been a major whirlwind. Christmas and new year were out of this world I was surrounded by the most amazing people and could finally be carefree. However everything has to come to an end and so did my new found wellness, I encountered my first flu after having the flu jab at the start of December I was extremely lucky to have my first flu in January which led to me feeling a little under the weather ( even minor, short illnesses hit me a lot more than they should as chemotherapy stays in your system and makes you weaker than “normal” for months ) I feel like I was on cloud 9 and slowly fell a little back to reality, my adrenaline rush from getting told I was in remission has lessened and I have encountered more ugly side effects chemo has presented me which have led to more tests and docs appointments. This time I have no complaints from my GP as it seems that when you have a medical history they don’t just send you home with painkillers! On a brighter note I started 2019 off in the most wonderful place with the best company I could ask for. Me and Michael flew out to Amsterdam and it felt wonderful even being in the usually annoying airport queues and security as I have missed being able to go on holiday so much especially with all I missed out on last year. It was very chill but at the same time we managed to do all the touristy things we had planned. Every night I was knackered and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow as walking all day really took it out of me. However I have been trying to get more active and slowly get back into the gym and more cardio I have lost half a stone so far but my target is still a little while away. Everyone says “your doing too much” “take it easy” and I try too because your not a ball and cant just bounce back no matter how much that saddens me to say. However if you don’t present the right steps for recovery you will never get there. I’m unsure if I will ever write a blog again, although I know my journey is far from over but I’m unsure what anyone would like me to talk about but just ask! I will try my best. It's extremely nice to know that this blog has helped so many people and I really appreciate everyones support throughout this past year. I was at the teenage cancer ward in the beatson the other day for a work shop called ‘look good feel better’(which is utterly amazing and I cannot thank the volunteers enough for their guidance and providing such a wonderful time for myself and the other girls) here I met a lovely girl who was sitting across from me and as I was walking to my car I met her and her mum again. They had asked about my hair (which is growing, slowly and I’m still quite baldy at the front of my head but I try my best to hide it lol) usual from me I promote the amazing Life Mel honey, I promise I get no commission but I probably could because of the amount of times I’ve told people about it as it practically is a life saver. Then they turned around and had clicked that they had already read a bit of my blog and about the wonderful honey!!!!!!! This is why I started this and I cant put into words what it means for other people to actually take the time to read it. So from the bottom of my heart thank you all and I have attached some pictures from my wonderful few months since you last heard from me.
All my love
Nicole x
